Haiti 2013

For years now I have felt God tugging on my heart about going on a mission trip. I thought of all of the excuses that would get me out of it: I don't have the money, I have my children, work...the list could go on and on. I've been going to Second Baytown and they have been focusing on missions. My heart was burdened when they first talked about the trip this summer, and yet instead of giving myself to what God wanted I held back in fear. I was in tears when they read Lindsey and Justin's letters about their trip to Haiti and how God changed their lives forever. I've known them for a little while now and I couldn't be happier to know that I have a new brother in Christ and to see how their lives are being ever changed. Yesterday, Bro Tommy spoke about the paralytic man being brought to Jesus. Mark 2:5 "When Jesus saw their faith"....wow what a statement. He followed by a question "What does your faith look like?" I want to have faith like that, I want to have a face like that! If we really believe the Bible, it should change us, it should change how we live and what we do. Because they had faith, their lives were eternally changed. He said that when we simply have faith, we must set aside our own agenda....let me pause there for a moment and say that this couldn't be more true. My excuses (my agenda) has kept me from doing the Lord's work, from following His plan for me. What is more important than my agenda should be leading people to Christ, yet I get so caught up in the excuses. If I have faith, I will be willing to do the unusual, the impossible. I am stepping out in faith and will follow where God is leading me and that will be to Haiti in 2013. I don't know how, I don't know exactly when, but I know that is where he is leading me. I ask that you be my prayer warrior in this road to faith and obedience to Him.

"If you want to catch fish, you have to go where the fish are!".... I wrote this to my prayer warrior Lindsey Reed today and it couldn't be more true "My heart is already a wreck, but I am ready for an overtaking of the heart by the God who changes lives!"


Mercy Me- "Where you lead me"

"What is life?


A thousand roads, a thousand ways

Why am I so afraid to move

I crossed the line

I'm stepping out so come what may

I give it all cause I'm drawn to You
As long as my heart is beating,

Where You lead me I will follow

Where You lead me I give my life away

Where You lead me I will follow

Forever and a day

Forever and a day"

Healing

I woke up this morning tears streaming down my face and a heart ache that only once you have it, do you know and understand what it feels like. I don't remember all of my dream, but the parts I do remember hurt deep in the depths of my soul. I know this past year has dealt me very many ups and downs, but these past several months have been the most trying. A friend told me that God is using these circumstances to teach you, to grow you and my response at that time was "I don't want to grow anymore, I don't want to be taught anymore." WOW! As a Christian we should want to grow more, we should want to be taught by the master teacher himself yet I got caught up in the circumstances instead of giving them to Him. All of my teenage life and early adulthood I sought companionship from people who would constantly break my spirits, hurt me and I would start building up walls so I wouldn't get hurt. You know that moment when you let people in after guarding yourself for so long? SWEET RELIEF...I felt it and it was wonderful. I opened my heart up to be taken advantage of, hurt and broken...again. There are many who have treasured my heart, and some that have played games with it...but I am left knowing that God treasures my heart, he knows me inside and out. After a heart wrenching circumstance, I felt the walls immediately coming back up but I also felt Gods hands pushing them back down and embracing me with strength, with comfort and love! WHAT AN AMAZING FEELING!! Time to time I forget that when I hurt, He is the healer of that hurt, but I tend to push those loving hands away. I guess what I am trying to convey is my daily struggle with allowing myself to heal and have the Healer take the pain away. To be at peace with past hurts, to finally let it all go and let God work in me. I am so glad He isn't finished with me yet, aren't you?
Father God I pray for those hurting like I am today or those who have another hurt all their own. I know what it feels like to experience hurt that is almost suffocating and I pray you will intervene in their situation and in their lives. Bring them peace and healing that only you can give to them. I ask that you will continue to show me, teach me and help me understand what you have for me, and when I don't agree or understand, that I will accept your will for my life. Heal this broken heart of mine and show me what love really means. Help me not to feel lonely, unworthy, and broken... I pray that I will have the courage to not allow others to take what is rightfully mine, a spirit of hope, a spirti of joy and peace. I pray for each and every one that reads this that you will bless them today, reveal yourself to them in a way that they need to see you. Thank you Father God for loving me with an unconditional love. Amen.

"Not by might, or by power, but by My Spirit, says the Lord of hosts" Zechariah 4:6

With the Lord

Today I was able to celebrate a wonderful woman going to be with Jesus. Kathy Norris touched so many lives through her amazing testimony daily and through her work for Jesus here on earth. She would help teach in children's church with Jacob, vacation bible school and of course kids beach club where she led many children to the Lord. I remember sitting in the pew at church and she would come up behind me, put her hands on my shoulders bring her face to mine and whisper in my ear that she was praying for me. She may not have known what was going on in my life, but I knew she was indeed praying for me. She would always say, that Jacob sure is a sweet boy! The church was full today in remembrance of her, her testimony was evident that she loved God and she taught that to her family and everyone she met. I pray that when my life on earth is over, that I will have had an impact on others lives as Kathy did on mine.