Haiti 2013

For years now I have felt God tugging on my heart about going on a mission trip. I thought of all of the excuses that would get me out of it: I don't have the money, I have my children, work...the list could go on and on. I've been going to Second Baytown and they have been focusing on missions. My heart was burdened when they first talked about the trip this summer, and yet instead of giving myself to what God wanted I held back in fear. I was in tears when they read Lindsey and Justin's letters about their trip to Haiti and how God changed their lives forever. I've known them for a little while now and I couldn't be happier to know that I have a new brother in Christ and to see how their lives are being ever changed. Yesterday, Bro Tommy spoke about the paralytic man being brought to Jesus. Mark 2:5 "When Jesus saw their faith"....wow what a statement. He followed by a question "What does your faith look like?" I want to have faith like that, I want to have a face like that! If we really believe the Bible, it should change us, it should change how we live and what we do. Because they had faith, their lives were eternally changed. He said that when we simply have faith, we must set aside our own agenda....let me pause there for a moment and say that this couldn't be more true. My excuses (my agenda) has kept me from doing the Lord's work, from following His plan for me. What is more important than my agenda should be leading people to Christ, yet I get so caught up in the excuses. If I have faith, I will be willing to do the unusual, the impossible. I am stepping out in faith and will follow where God is leading me and that will be to Haiti in 2013. I don't know how, I don't know exactly when, but I know that is where he is leading me. I ask that you be my prayer warrior in this road to faith and obedience to Him.

"If you want to catch fish, you have to go where the fish are!".... I wrote this to my prayer warrior Lindsey Reed today and it couldn't be more true "My heart is already a wreck, but I am ready for an overtaking of the heart by the God who changes lives!"


Mercy Me- "Where you lead me"

"What is life?


A thousand roads, a thousand ways

Why am I so afraid to move

I crossed the line

I'm stepping out so come what may

I give it all cause I'm drawn to You
As long as my heart is beating,

Where You lead me I will follow

Where You lead me I give my life away

Where You lead me I will follow

Forever and a day

Forever and a day"

Healing

I woke up this morning tears streaming down my face and a heart ache that only once you have it, do you know and understand what it feels like. I don't remember all of my dream, but the parts I do remember hurt deep in the depths of my soul. I know this past year has dealt me very many ups and downs, but these past several months have been the most trying. A friend told me that God is using these circumstances to teach you, to grow you and my response at that time was "I don't want to grow anymore, I don't want to be taught anymore." WOW! As a Christian we should want to grow more, we should want to be taught by the master teacher himself yet I got caught up in the circumstances instead of giving them to Him. All of my teenage life and early adulthood I sought companionship from people who would constantly break my spirits, hurt me and I would start building up walls so I wouldn't get hurt. You know that moment when you let people in after guarding yourself for so long? SWEET RELIEF...I felt it and it was wonderful. I opened my heart up to be taken advantage of, hurt and broken...again. There are many who have treasured my heart, and some that have played games with it...but I am left knowing that God treasures my heart, he knows me inside and out. After a heart wrenching circumstance, I felt the walls immediately coming back up but I also felt Gods hands pushing them back down and embracing me with strength, with comfort and love! WHAT AN AMAZING FEELING!! Time to time I forget that when I hurt, He is the healer of that hurt, but I tend to push those loving hands away. I guess what I am trying to convey is my daily struggle with allowing myself to heal and have the Healer take the pain away. To be at peace with past hurts, to finally let it all go and let God work in me. I am so glad He isn't finished with me yet, aren't you?
Father God I pray for those hurting like I am today or those who have another hurt all their own. I know what it feels like to experience hurt that is almost suffocating and I pray you will intervene in their situation and in their lives. Bring them peace and healing that only you can give to them. I ask that you will continue to show me, teach me and help me understand what you have for me, and when I don't agree or understand, that I will accept your will for my life. Heal this broken heart of mine and show me what love really means. Help me not to feel lonely, unworthy, and broken... I pray that I will have the courage to not allow others to take what is rightfully mine, a spirit of hope, a spirti of joy and peace. I pray for each and every one that reads this that you will bless them today, reveal yourself to them in a way that they need to see you. Thank you Father God for loving me with an unconditional love. Amen.

"Not by might, or by power, but by My Spirit, says the Lord of hosts" Zechariah 4:6

With the Lord

Today I was able to celebrate a wonderful woman going to be with Jesus. Kathy Norris touched so many lives through her amazing testimony daily and through her work for Jesus here on earth. She would help teach in children's church with Jacob, vacation bible school and of course kids beach club where she led many children to the Lord. I remember sitting in the pew at church and she would come up behind me, put her hands on my shoulders bring her face to mine and whisper in my ear that she was praying for me. She may not have known what was going on in my life, but I knew she was indeed praying for me. She would always say, that Jacob sure is a sweet boy! The church was full today in remembrance of her, her testimony was evident that she loved God and she taught that to her family and everyone she met. I pray that when my life on earth is over, that I will have had an impact on others lives as Kathy did on mine.

Openhanded

Deuteronomy 5:1-11

Verse 7-8

If there is a poor man among your brothers in any of the towns of the land that the Lord your God is giving you, do not be hardhearted or tightfisted toward your poor brother. Rather be openhanded and freely lend him whatever he needs.

Reading my devotion this morning told by Mother Teresa she talked about how suffering could be several different things, not just what you think suffering entails. It could be material suffering, hunger suffering, being homeless, having disease but one of the greatest sufferings of this world is being lonely, feeling unloved and the feeling of not having anyone in our life. In these sufferings we tend to turn our heads, rush on by, worried about our own lives that we never stop to notice those that have fallen and don't have the strength to stand anymore, or to go on. As christians these are the ones we need to care about, to lift up!

Do we take the time to care for the downtrodden? Do we seek to find their suffering and help them? I know we can get caught up in our own daily lives, our own problems...for me it's being a single parent full time, working and struggling daily with my own problems that I tend not to see the needs of others, whatever they may need.

Do we give to those in need? or do we get caught up in our own lives, instead of trusting God to supply all of our needs when we obey His word? "Be faithful in small things, because it is in them that your strength lies"

"Be the living expression of God's kindness:

kindness in your face

kindness in your eyes

kindness in your smile

kindess in your warm greeting"~ Mother Teresa

Think about some ways we can follow the example of loving others by being openhanded to those less fortunate than you. That doesn't always necessarily mean giving money, but what about lending an ear to hear, a shoulder to cry on? God has called us to be like Him, and never once have I seen him turn away from anyone in need, in suffering.

Father God, I come to you seeking your will in my life, to fully seek what it is that you want for my life. In doing so, I know you want me to help others in need and not solely focus on my own needs. I pray you will help me see the need and help me meet the need where you have placed me at. It's in your sons precious name I pray, Amen.

Woman at the Well

The woman at the well story in the Bible is so close to my heart. I could see myself as the woman in many aspects of life, I have heard the story many times growing up and only until a few months ago, did I allow myself to be healed from my past. I don't need that life anymore, I have met my love, my Father God who loves me unconditionally, who found me destitute, destrought, broken. He healed me. I know He is still working on this woman, making me, molding me. I know this life isn't without its hurts, its sadness, but I know the God that met me at my darkest time, the one who changed my life will never leave me!!

Heartache

Father God, I come with a heavy heavy heart. I want to curl up in your lap or lay at your feet I need to feel your comforting arms. I need to hear you say that everything is going to be okay, I need to hear you say that every heartache, every tear is worth it. This life is so difficult and hard, I don't know what you are trying to teach me Father, so in this teaching moment, I pray you will give me your strength and I pray you will protect my heart. I know you have a plan and it's far more than what I see right in this moment, I just need to feel your comfort and peace today Father God.


The dictionary defines heartbreak as ‘crushing grief, anguish, or distress.’ But a broken heart may be brought on by a myriad of causes such as disappointment in a child's lifestyle, loss of possession, loss of job, etc. Whatever the cause, the pain of a broken heart can be enormous.
I find rest in knowing only a child of God can experience complete recovery because only we have access to the power of the Spirit of God who alone “heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds" (Psalm 147:3).
I think about Job and the heartache he endured . In one day he lost his children, almost all worldly possessions, his health, and his means of livelihood. He responded "Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head and fell on the ground and worshiped. And he said, ‘Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD'" (Job 1:20-21). He was heartbroken yet, he worshipped God and remained faithful. Although he had doubts as to God’s goodness in these terrible events, through them he grew closer to God through God’s revelation of Himself (Job 42:1-5). Job learned what all believers can learn through heartbreak—God is faithful and good and trustworthy.
God never failed one of His children when they cried out to Him, and He will not fail the heartbroken Christian who cries out to Him today, He will NOT fail me. He may not answer me in the time I want, but I know he  answers according to His perfect will and timing and, while I wait for the answer, His grace is sufficient (2 Corinthians 12:9).

I waited

I waited, and you never showed

I needed you, and you weren't there

I long for your direction

and you are silent.

Why aren't you talking to me

Why aren't you answering

I am crying out, my soul is crying out

why can't you hear me?

I hear you...finally

you say that you are here

you are silent...you are teaching

I need to trust you, you say.

Show me how to trust you

you are here...I feel you

You are leading, and guiding

help me trust you more.

God is faithful

In reading my devotion this morning "God is faithful" there were two questions to reflect on.

1. From your experiences in life, what do you know to be true about God?

~I know that in times of trouble, in times of heartache, in times of turmoil that God is faithful. He has always been there for me, right there holding my hands. He never said that He would wave a magic wand and everything would fall into place. If we look to Him in our darkest moments and keep turning our face to Him, He will be faithful! He will be faithful to work in us to make us men and woment that we are called to be. Even thougth He may not make everything instantly okay, He will however be there to guide us and help us through our circumstances.

2. How has God showm himself to be faithful in the past?

~God has shown me how to truly trust Him when my marriage fell apart, I was faced with being a single mother and trying to find my way in this world. I have cried many days trying to figure out what to do, and "where are you God...I am hurting" God has shown his faithfulness daily, in giving me peace about it all. Knowing God is there for me is reassuring, it gives me confidence in knowing that no matter what else comes in life, He will be there just as faithful as ever!

God I pray that in the midst of my dark and troubled times that I will turn my face to you, that in all of it you will teach me to be faithful adn to be a woman of God that you want me to be. God, you are a faithful God, and I know that you will not always wave a magic wand and make everything okay, but despite that, you will always be faithful to me and my family. I pray God that you will help me to be a strong christian woman, a strong christian mother that will show my children that you are an awesome God and that we trust in you. Help us to love one another as you love the church, help me to be faithful to you and the promises in your word. It's in your wonderful name I pray, Amen

Turning Point

Q: Was there a turning point in your life when you said, enough is enough, you turned your back on your old life and started new?

I personally can look on a moment in time when I could honestly say that I was tired of living the life that I had and I was ready for the future...a new future. I got lost along the way from that day, but have quickly been set back on the right path by the greatest people in my life that truly love and care about me.

There are trying times in every one's life that can either send them straight to the bottom or to that old life, or it can change them forever for the good.

Lately I have felt very distant from God and I don't really know why. Could it be that I have so much hate for someone or that I just don't want to hear what He has to say to me. All I know is that when God leads us to the edge of a cliff, we will either choose to trust that He will catch us when we fall or teach us how to fly. I wanted to let my friends and family know that God will shift things around for you today, and let things work in your favor. If you believe and trust in the only one that can close doors no man can open and open doors no man can shut...He can do amazing things in your life!I read this quote this morning and it touched me deep down to my soul "When you reach the end of your rope, you will find the hem of His garment" SO VERY TRUE! Life will throw you curve balls, life will bring heartache and sorrow...but know that through the stinging pain all you have to do is reach out and just simply touch the hem of His garment like the very ill woman in the bible. She was desperate for healing and fighting through the crowd she barely touched the hem of Jesus' garment and she was healed. In that crowd of people he stopped, turned around and asked who it was that touched him. It could have been many people just brushing up against him, but He knew the distinct touch of desperation!

I pray that today if you are in a situation of desperation that you will reach out to Him for healing, for peace. You may be holding onto regret about something that happened many years ago...the time has come to let it go. I pray as a friend that I will stand by you every step of the way, I will be here to help you. I will hold you up when you can't stand, I will wipe the tears when you need to cry.

Now is the time to look to the future and stop holding on to what you could not change. God has a plan for you and has known what is in store for you from the day you were born.

Today is a new day....embrace it and if there are changes that need to be made...DO IT!!